Sincerely

The story

Hello, I am a daughter, a sister, a wife and a mom. And I am HIV positive. I have been for at least 14 years now. In 1983 I met the man of my dreams, my first love. He told me he was a hemophiliac. I didn't know what that was nor did I care. I just knew that whenever he got hurt real bad we would go to the hospital where they gave him stuff called Factor VIII because his blood would not clot. We did not know that the stuff that was saving his life was going to take his life and mine - in time. We married in 1985 and had a son who is healthy. His father and I divorced but remained good friends. I met my current husband in 1987 and we married in 1992. Then in 1997 I found out that I was pregnant. We had used protection but it was not foolproof. I finally went to a doctor about my HIV status and my pregnancy. He checked my blood. My viral load was 30,000 and my T cell count was 642. I was lucky because I never had taken any medicines. I also never wanted to know my status in this disease. I was then put on AZT during my pregnancy. Ultimately I had my son and he was a healthy baby boy. I am now on the "great" cocktail. My viral load is non detectable. My T cell count is up and down. I can't lead a normal life because of the side effects: headaches, diarrhea, and numbness in my feet. It's like living with the stomach flu every day of your life. Only my family knows I am HIV positive. I have seen how people treated my ex-husband and I can't take that. We lost him, my oldest son's father, earlier this year. He will always be in my heart. I can never tell my son that I am HIV positive. A 13 year old boy can only handle so much. Well, this is my story. Always remember to hug the ones you love. You never know when your last chance will be.