Why Me?

The story

When my father left my mother, she was 30 years old with 4 kids. Being the eldest one, I understood how difficult it was to arrange food, clothing and school fees for all of us I had to drop out from school and started working as a maid to an elderly lady in a nearby house. They used to have a lot of guests. Most to them were good barring one uncle who used to give me chocolates but I did not like his eyes. Once all the family members went to a wedding and no one was there except the old grandma and I when that uncle dropped by. That night he abused me more than once and next month I missed my period. No one believed me, they all blamed me and my mother was helpless. She went to a social worker in our area and that lady arranged for a shelter home for me. I was only 15 years old any my body was not ready for a baby and I had a miscarriage. I bled like anything when the doctors advised for a blood transfusion. One of the bottles was contaminated with HIV and that was how I got it. Now I am 20 years old and I am not scared of dying because I think I died twice before, once when I was abused and then when I was diagnosed. But at times I feel lonely, alone and away from my mother and my family. What was my fault? Kolkata, India